I Thought I Was Training Hard… I Wasn’t Even Close

What I got completely wrong about effort and failure

There was a time in my youth, where I thought I had this all figured out. Newbie gains had my ego swollen. I was in the gym all the time. I was clanging weights and feeling strong. Sessions would run over 2 hours, consistently. 

I thought I was really putting in the work. Looking back, I know I wasn’t even close. 

I remember spending close to three hours in the gym some days. It was military life and I was always trying to outwork my buddies. It was always more sets, more exercises, and more time.

It felt productive. It felt like I was doing what it took. But nothing was really changing the way I expected.

At the time, I would’ve told you I was training hard. “I murdered that bench press today!”. Now I know I was completely lost, following the path of others who were also clueless. I’m sure most of you have some sense of what this experience was like. 

The biggest thing I misunderstood was what “failure” actually meant.

I thought getting uncomfortable was enough. I thought slowing down a little at the end of a set meant I was close. I thought I knew what pushing into failure really was. I thought because it felt hard…

It had to be effective, right?

It wasn’t. True failure is a different thing entirely.

It’s not:

“This is getting tough”
“This burns”
“I could probably get one more”

It’s:

You try to move the weight…
and it doesn’t move.

Sure, I saw some strength gains and a little bit of muscle growth. Not only was I new, but we spent 3 hours a day moving weights in the gym. You’re going to see some gains. But I completely missed the mark on what I could have achieved if I had taken the time to really understand what I was doing and the direction I needed to go. 

That realization changed everything for me.

Once I understood that, I also realized something else:

Most of my sets weren’t even close to failure. I thought it was failure simply because I didn’t comprehend what it meant to truly contract the muscle. In my mind, the goal was to move the weight. That’s what made the gains, right?!

In actuality, I was leaving reps on the table constantly. Not because I wanted to…

but because I didn’t know the difference.

At the same time, I was doing so much volume that it didn’t really matter anyway.

Too many sets.
Too much time.
Not enough quality.

It had me stuck without knowing that I was spinning my wheels and truthfully, that combination is where a lot of my clients are stuck at when they sign on with me.

They train often.
They put in effort.
They feel like they’re doing everything right.

But the stimulus isn’t strong enough, and the fatigue is higher than it needs to be.

That’s where progress stalls. Once I started learning to shift things, it looked very different.

Fewer sets.
More intention.
Actually understanding where my limit was.

And just as important, being selective about when to go there. Just because the crew is running a squat competition among themselves, doesn’t mean I should be joining in. 

Because training to true failure all the time creates its own problems.

That’s another lesson that comes later.

The biggest takeaway for me was simple:

There’s a difference between working hard, and doing work that actually drives progress. For a long time, I had those confused.

Most people do.

— Rob
Coach
Iron After 40